TV Smith's Dua Sen. The politically incorrect irregular columnist combines
his idiosyncratic observations and tangential commentary into a blog...
I SPEED DATED AN AXE MURDERER
A couple who runs an online friendship
portal and offline
dating service invited me to join one of their
events based on the current yuppyish craze dubbed
"Speed Dating". Curious as I was, I
initially declined the offer and almost missed
an enjoyable and wacky evening. The organizers,
lovebirds Yinnie and Arno have convincing credentials.
They married after meeting each other on the Internet
and are now on a duty-bound mission to eradicate
lonely hearts and enlarge Malaysia's population.
OK with my social life!" I protested when
Yinnie insisted on the third phone call.
"Yeah, but the women you meet are always
from a bar somewhere" she retorted.
"True, but I meet girls at pasar malams too"
I responded proudly.
"Who cares? We're short of one guy!"
she finally confessed.
relented and resigned myself to prejudiced
thoughts of meeting wallflowers and people
with speech impediment. This time around they
managed to recruit about 20 men and women
from seemingly contrasting backgrounds and
gathered them at a quaint little Italian restaurant
somewhere downtown KL. The organisers may
have conducted some pre-screening or sorting,
as the participants appeared to be from similar
age and language groups. Each numbered guy
gets to meet each permanently seated girl
in separate ten-minute sessions.
Think of it as a series of chemistry tests
timed by a bell and marked with a scorecard.
So, off I went on a Friday night to a musical
chair game that's supposed to pair me with
a potential life partner or girlfriend from
Participant 1, self-employed, aged 25.
Me: "Those eyelashes look nice."
Me: "Are those contacts?"
Me: "The colours are kind of unusual."
Me: "Do you always give one-worded answers?"
2, marketing executive, aged 29.
She: "You don't look the marrying kind."
Me: "Thank you. Is there a way to tell?"
She: "Instinct and intuition, I guess."
Me: "Is that important?"
She: "Well, I paid sixty ringgit!"
Me: "That's the bell ringing, got to go."
3, school teacher, aged 27.
Me: "Wow, you came all the way from Tapah?"
She: "Yes, it's a small town."
Me: "If we were to go on a date, where should
She: "Cameron Highlands."
Me: "How about we meeting halfway at Fraser's
She: "If we go on a second date."
Me: "OK, third date ought to be at Genting
4, music student, aged 28.
She: "Your hair is longer than mine."
Me: "So it seems."
She: "What shampoo do you use?"
She: "So it seems."
5, advertising executive, aged 31.
She: "Problem with most guys
She: "They don't pay attention."
She: "They don't listen to what I say
She: "And yet they always accuse me of overwhelming
She: "Not that I don't listen
She: "I just like to get my message across."
6, unemployed, aged 29.
She: "Ten minutes is kind of short, don't
Me: "I think it's about right; otherwise
we'll spend the whole night here."
She: "I heard at some places you're given
only five minutes."
Me: "That's like chatting up a girl at a
She: "For five minutes?"
Me: "Before the boyfriend returns from the
7, personnel manager, aged 32.
She: "This is like interviewing people to
fill a vacancy."
Me: "I know, I feel like another candidate."
She: "So tell me why should I go on a date
Me: "I've got good dating experience."
She: "How many years?"
8, artist, aged 26.
She: "Can I have your number?"
Me: "Thought we're not supposed to exchange
phone numbers at this stage?"
She: "It's not an exchange; I'm not giving
you my phone number."
Me: "But your number's going to be revealed
if you call my mobile."
She. "My number is hidden, it won't appear."
Me: "Wow! You're that cautious."
She: "I'm always cautious with strangers."
Me: "Shall we go back to my place for a drink
9, system engineer, aged 25.
She: "Hey, I know you!"
She: "You the one who writes all those funny
Me: "Met anybody you liked so far?"
She: "Don't tell me you're going to write
10, aerobics instructor, aged 30.
Me: "How do you keep fit?"
She: "I used to chop wood"
Me: "Used to?"
She: "Until my ex-boyfriend was found chopped
into several pieces"
Me: "You're kidding me right?"
She: "Wanna see a picture of my axe or ex?"
so speed dating may not be for everyone. But if
you're up to it, it's a great way to meet a bunch
of mostly decent and interesting singles. While
the women seemed more focused than the men; it
really is a safer and more efficient way of meeting
members of the opposite sex. No need to use any
corny pick-up lines and besides, it's only RM
6 per date including bland pastas. For more information
check out www.click-together.com
2004 TV SMITH
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