TV Smith's Dua Sen. The politically incorrect irregular columnist combines
his idiosyncratic observations and tangential commentary into a blog...
by TV Smith
Local satirist and humour writer TV SMITH
of Dua Sen writes this chilling tale from
the year 2022...
Harris had a bright future in front of her. The
eighteen year-old recently earned a scholarship
to study at a prestigious university in the US.
The proverbial dream however was unexpectedly
shattered during her first journey abroad. She
picked up a book by a popular Japanese horror
writer while on transit at the new Kansai floating
mega-airport. The bestseller spun the harrowing
and deeply moving tale of a young girl's spirit
trapped in a lavatory cistern.
going through just three chapters of the book
on the resumption of her flight, Ani suddenly
screamed uncontrollably. She yanked the foldout
LCD screen from the seat in front of her and flung
it violently at the startled air marshal. To make
matters worse, her actions triggered a mid-air
mass hysteria among the forty-four other Malaysian
passengers aboard. Air Asia Flight 0013 was forced
to return to Osaka thirty minutes after take-off.
airborne incident once again brought into the
international spotlight, the controversial Malaysian
Dream Control Programme that spanned almost two
decades. Like many of her generation, Ani had
grown up not ever experiencing a spooky moment
or waking up to a nightmare. Despite the mandatory
pre-departure training on avoiding counter-cultural
material, she became the ironic victim of a bizarre
doctrine that was first propagandised some nineteen
at the people's inordinate fascination with the
supernatural, the government then, decided to
isolate gullible children, and wean corrupted
adults, from the goose bumps inducing world of
ghosts, demons, pontianaks and assorted
evil spirits. There were no other significant
issues to grapple with in the year 2003, it seemed.
started with the banning of books that contained
elements of mysticism, fantasy and superstition.
The policy was soon expanded to cover most fictional
material on all media including the then fledging
new medium known as the Internet. Authors like
Stephen King and JK Rowling were initially perceived
as 'benign' by the authorities and left untouched.
years later, a group of twelve-year-olds viciously
attacked a harmless but obnoxious mime performing
at a street carnival. Mistaken for a clown, the
blame was erroneously assigned to a copy of Stephen
King's "It", which one of the youngster's
father had left lying around, unattended. The
celebrated author soon disappeared from local
bookshelves along with clowns from circuses and
corporate 'family-days'. In 2008, incidence of
nightmares among Malaysians dropped to the low
and desired '2 per 10,000 persons'. Spurred by
their success in nightmare suppression, the ghost-story-busters
targeted Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Phantom Of
The Opera" and the 59th installment of the
Harry Potter series in 2009.
a result of the unceasing and ever-widening bans,
a loose-knit underground rebellion headed by detractors
with dissimilar intent and battle cries emerged.
A woman, who surgically changed her face to look
like a character reverently portrayed by Linda
Blair, leads the Penang rebel group known as The
Exorcists. The group is fighting for the re-instatement
of the Chinese Ghost Month and the historical
rights to call Caucasians "Gwei Lohs".
Another group in Johor is said to have distributed
over a million copies of the banned music video
Thriller by Michael Jackson. A former pirate-DVD
peddler named Lee (and fortuitously christened
Christopher), heads this cell.
bomoh, Shahrizal from Taman Melati conducts
clandestine classes on the lost and dying skills
of treating possessed and charmed individuals.
Students are taught the fine art of spitting antidotal
water on the faces of 'patients' sedated with
kemenyan smoke. Joshua Nair, the sixteen-year-old
son of a legendary hacker, is a self-proclaimed
freedom fighter. Hunted by the authorities for
setting up proxy servers that circumvent online
bans, he leads a high-tech campaign for the restoration
of traditional myths and old folklores.
motley ensemble of unlikely heroes and spirited
supporters gained some headway in their running
battles against the 'dream de-contamination' proponents.
By their very act of creating nightmares for their
nemeses, they have already achieved some poetic
so lucky and successful was taxi driver, Tan Soo
Chong of Cheras. He was imprisoned for inciting
nightmares by repeatedly terrifying his passengers
with stories of a headless ghost haunting the
grounds of the KL Hospital. Sharing his jail cell
is Alfonso Maniam who once headed a guided tour
of the various ghoulish spots and creepy places
around Kuala Lumpur.
town, Ani's future lies in a straightjacket. In
a padded cell next to her is a former mime locked
up for the strangling a school kid. He has not
spoken nor gestured for seventeen years, either
from reticence or remorse. No one knows for sure
but inexplicably, he started to motion crying
the day before Ani arrived. Was it a silent, tragic
cry of self-exasperation or prophetic tears for
article also appears on page
3 of today's StarMag (The
2003 TV SMITH
Link to this article: http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/161103_ghosts.html
See also: SCHOOL
OF HARD KNOCKS |
WE ARE WE |
MALAYSIA BOLEH RECORDS
| RIGHTEOUS BROTHERS
to TV Smith's Dua Sen: http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/