TV SMITH's Dua Sen: The Week That Was
TV Smith's Dua Sen
TV Smith's Dua Sen. The politically incorrect irregular columnist combines his idiosyncratic observations and tangential commentary into a blog...


by TV Smith

Weird week it was. I have not seen my dear friend and blogger Sam for ages and she phoned up Monday to say she's in town. So I took a leisurely drive to that hotel-california-ish Hotel Maluri, knocked on the door and was greeted by the same ravishingly beautiful woman I last saw eight years ago. She immediately ushered me into the bathroom to stick a tube up my rear end.

You see, Sam has a new found purpose in life. Her mission? To rinse the colon of every known friend, relative and blogger. She even brought along a machine that will force feed my butt. I am normally not adverse to kinky stuff but I managed to persuade her to go down to the coffee house. Catching up over coffee beats gargling one's rectum over a toilet bowl anytime. OK. Enough of scatological stuff. Let's move on to food.

The SunOver at my favourite mamak stall:

Me  : Aneh, telor tiga suku masak dua!

Raju: Macha! Tadi saya ada nampak lu mia gambar dalam         surat khabar!

Me  : Wah! Lu selalu baca berita ah?

Raju: Tadalah! Saya nampak bila saya bungkus nasi                   lemak...

By coincidence, I appeared in The Sun, The Star & The Moon, all within the same week. This rare alignment of the celestial and planetary bodies may have cast some misunderstandings. There are some things I need to clarify here.

My comment in The Sun on The Budget (clipping left) was completely watered down. What I really said was "Flower Bridge (translate that to Cantonese), you all! Show some bladi respect, we are now subsidising your road tax.
Flower Bridge!"

Heck! The original quote is 'unprintable' here too.
© The Sun Daily 

The Star
© The Star

First thing Lu Sean (blog link withheld at her request) said when she flipped open The Star (clipping above) was "I look like I'm drunk." First thing I said was "We look like we are both drunk." To set the record straight; she wasn't drinking. I was. The hosts were Germans, for crying out loud. Blogger Emily Ng, who was also my desginated driver for that evening, thought Lu Sean looked pretty and radiant. She looked high and pretty.

Over at Waikiki... Whooze face more merah? Blogger Patrick Teoh seemed to be asking (pic left). My designated driver and girl-next-door blogger Zona Marie Tan is also seen stealing another gulp. Patrick's elder daughter Melisa (pic right), who was also nicely inebriated, dropped us a blogging bombshell. She claimed she once 'dated' Malaysia's most influential blogger! Patrick's immediate response was "Niamah!"

© 2005 TV SMITH
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