TV SMITH's Dua Sen: A Malaysian Valentine
TV Smith's Dua Sen
TV Smith's Dua Sen. The politically incorrect irregular columnist combines his idiosyncratic observations and tangential commentary into a blog...


by TV Smith

Suanie and I were sipping our 46th beer, blowing smoke rings and popping murukku into each other's mouth when I suddenly turned slushy mushy.

In a bout of barley malt induced insanity, I asked her the risk-laden question: "What colour roses do you like?" She blew a heart-shaped smoke ring and whispered oh so sweetly, "I rather you buy me RAM..."

Prophetically enough, a Japanese company is now selling heart-embossed memory chips for Valentine's Day. Yeah, she's geeky and charming, (almost) always logical and practical but 512MB of DDR RAM still costs RM 500, unwrapped.

It got me thinking, are there Valentine's gifts other than expensive flowers, dinners and computer parts? Here's some gift suggestions for other thrifty Malaysians.

Happy VD friends, bloggers and readers.

Impress her with your patriotism. A beautiful drooping Rosa-Sinensis (National Flower - The Hibiscus) surrounded by three blades of carefully selected Imperata Cylindrica (National Weed - The Lalang) and 2 cute, sticky, seedy inflorescence stalks. Sharp and smart. Only 1.50 per bouquet.

Ali married Fatimah, at long last.

Finally, a bi-gender, laxative-looking aphrodisiac to share. Just the stimulant for a romantic Valentine evening. Since the product is new and untested, I don't know if there are any adverse side-effects.

For Ah Lians only. Get your man a truly useful gift this Valentine's. Only RM 10 per dozen, wholesale price.

Ah Beng need not drive around with a flickering fluorescent light anymore.

© 2005 TV SMITH
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