TV SMITH's Dua Sen: The Kedai Potong Karpal Terbang
TV Smith's Dua Sen
TV Smith's Dua Sen. The politically incorrect irregular columnist combines his idiosyncratic observations and tangential commentary into a blog...


by TV Smith

A Bernama report on a missing jet engine stunned the nation today. The public is mostly unaware of a booming potong karpal terbang cottage industry in the Sg Besi and Chan Sow Lin area.

I visited one such shop named "Ah Tar Half Cut Workshop" at Chan Sow Lin just now. The owner denied any knowledge of the missing F-5E fighter engine. His full name is Tar Fei Kei as stated on his business card.

However, I spotted some pitot tubes from Sukhoi fighter jets hanging from the wall. "Is this fresh from LIMA?" I asked the boss. He replied "You think only Malaysia got Sukhois issit? "Any way, rich collectors like John Travolta buy them as souvenirs lah." he explaned

Pitot Tube
file photo of Sukhoi's pitot tube. It is that pointy thingy on the nose

As I looked around the yard, three containers carrying huge pieces of the Grumman E-2 Hawkeye tactical Airborne Early Warning (AEW) aircraft was being unloaded at the back.

"That one is half-cut from Japan lah." Fei Kei revealed. "In Japan, they have to scrap their aircrafts every two years." Some Europeans and South Americans were seen examining the parts.

You have no local customers meh? I inquired. "Got!" last week one Ah Beng came in to ask if I have any engines to fit his Proton Wira. I told him very troublesome as it needs too much modifications. He insisted and I sold him a him a re-cond Cirrus engine loh. I told him Puspakom inspection sure won't pass because he got tinted windows" Fei Kei revealed.

"I usually get a lot of orders during LIMA as many air force type people are in town. Two weeks ago, one Afghan ask me can get half-cut Apache attack helicopter or not. He was quite upset when I told him I only have the 4-blade tail rotor. He said you think flying to Malaysia is cheap issit? I hope AirAsia can fly to Kabul soon as it will be good for my business."

"Anyway, I promised him to get each half of the ARH-1 Tiger Helicopter and AH-64D Longbow Apache Helicopter. Welding together is a bit tricky but I think we can do it" said a confident Fei Kei.

"So who bought the Apache tail rotor?" I asked curiously. "Since cannot find customers, I sold to my friend Maniam as besi buruk..."

© 2009 TV SMITH
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