TV SMITH's Dua Sen: Oil Shit
TV Smith's Dua Sen
TV Smith's Dua Sen. The politically incorrect irregular columnist combines his idiosyncratic observations and tangential commentary into a blog...


by TV Smith

The recent increase in the price of diesel (yau si or oil shit in Cantonese) has fueled a series of sneaky markups...

At the mamak shop:

Me: Apa sah tandoori naik harga?

Mamak: Boss, sayur sudah naik sebab itu lorry hantar sayur mahu charge extra.

Me: Tapi ini masakan mana ada sayur???

Mamak: Ada! Boss... you tengok itu mint sos ada pakai daun pudina...

Me: Tiuuuuu!

At the pasar malam:

Blondie: Sei Pek mei chut [ Sepet not out yet ]

Me: Yau myeh san hei? [ got what new film? ]

Blondie: Oi tai kor chi sin loh moh ? [ Want watch that short-circuited guy? ]

Me: Pin kor? [ Who? ]

Blondie: Neh... choh Lum and Lumber diu yau [ There... that guy who acted in Dumb and Dumber ]

Me: Ooooor.... kor ko soh low... ngo chee, ngo chee [ I know, I know that nut ]

(Shows me a suspicious cover of the currently in production Six Million Dollar Man)

Blondie: Pak kor, hei chor kar siew siew, tin kei hang yau si [ But, price up a bit - generator powered by diesel ]

Me: Wei! Lei ke Honda kei chai hang tin yau leh. [ Hey! your Honda mini generator is powered by petrol ]

Blondie: Mmh hai li kar, ngo tei ke chorng kar [ Not this set, the one at our factory ]

Me: Lei ker chorng moh tin ke meh? [ Your factory has no electricity supply? ]

Blondie: Hai tai sam pah pin toh yau tin? [ In the middle of the jungle where got electricity? ]

Me: Tiuuuuu!

Riding with Muthu, my regular cabbie on drinking nights:

Muthu: Taxi price went up Macha!

Me: Thought you bought this cab a few years ago?

Muthu: Not my car lah, the meter charge.

Me: Let me guess... diesel price went up?

Muthu: Shortage!

Me: Really?

Muthu: Then why you think we perang with Indonesia over diesel?

Me: I think it's over crude oil or gas. So what has it got to do with you?

Muthu: My taxi is gas powered remember?

Me: Tiuuuuu!

© 2005 TV SMITH
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