TV Smith's Dua Sen
TV Smith's Dua Sen. The politically incorrect irregular columnist combines his idiosyncratic observations and tangential commentary into a blog...
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THE SCHOLARSHIP TEST
by TV Smith
10/06/05

To avoid unnecessary controversies, all future scholarship applicants may be required to undergo a special test. Try it yourself.

1. Financial Planning
You want to become a doctor because there is a likelihood of:
A) Charging RM 80 per MC
B) Charging RM 800 per consultation
C) Charging RM 8000 for a minor operation
D) Charging RM 80000 for major surgery
© 2005 TV SMITH
 
2. Reading Skills
Based on the writing below, what is the doctor saying?

A) Freaking idiot! - Must give her a placebo
B) MC reduced to RM 50! - offer today only
C) Nurse! Call the cops! - I think he's a robber
D) We don't call it abortions! - it's menstrual regulation
© 2005 TV SMITH
 
3. Career Knowledge
If you fail to enter medical school, which is next best?
A) Becoming a pharmacist
B) Becoming a dentist
C) Becoming a vet
D) Becoming a cop
© 2005 TV SMITH
 
4. Moral Studies
CRIME DOES NOT PAY as well as:
A) Politics
B) APs
C) Crime busting
D) Rent seeking
© 2005 TV SMITH
 
5. Local Knowledge
What does the abbreviation PSC stand for:
A) Post-SPM Complaint
B) Public Scholarship Commission
C) Public Service Commission
D) Private Scholarship Commission
© 2005 TV SMITH
 
6. Science
What is the best method to score as many A's?
A) Rote learning
B) Spotting questions
C) Copying
D) Paper leak
© 2005 TV SMITH
 
7. General Knowledge
Our education system is based on:
A) Meritocrazy
B) Meritocracy
C) Medicalcrazy
D) Mediocrity
© 2005 TV SMITH
 
8. History
What usually happens 2 to 3 months before Merdeka Day each year:
A) Former PMs complain about transparency
B) Silly patriotism ideas are spawned
C) Tattered and faded flags are replaced
D) Flag suppliers start smiling
© 2005 TV SMITH
 
9. Economics
Which is the best way to waste government funds?
A) Build an arch
B) Leave some kids in the jungle, trigger a massive search & rescue operation involving troops and several aircraft
C) Export and re-import the same group of foreign workers
D) Put a cop at every venue where the national anthem is to be played to catch sitters
© 2005 TV SMITH
 
10. Current Affairs
What does the abbreviation AP stand for:
A) Always Private
B) Automatic Profit
C) Approved Permit
D) Auto Patronage


  

© 2005 TV SMITH
Link to this article: http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/100605_scholarship.html

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