TV SMITH's Dua Sen: Kiss & Fell
TV Smith's Dua Sen
TV Smith's Dua Sen. The politically incorrect irregular columnist combines his idiosyncratic observations and tangential commentary into a blog...


by TV Smith

I'm pissed with the The Sun. Barely 24 hours after our local dailies anointed a Bolehan cheerleader to grace its front pages; the British tabloid cruelly snatched national pride from our frail little hearts. Never mind that she's no longer our fellow citizen. We take pride in knowing that Malaysia finally produced a global celebrity who is more newsworthy than Hong Kong-born William Hung.

Local born model, Sarah Marbeck accomplished in one night what millions of women worldwide spend a lifetime dreaming of doing for free. She bonked David Beckham. And grudgingly, I must add that Singaporeans should feel self-important too. The celebrated one-night-stand took place in the land of the original SPGs.

So why was I elated? After years of getting a bad rap on the world stage, Malaysia deserves a much-needed break. Terrorist tourists and nuclear spare parts dealers attracted to our "Malaysia My Second Home" program may have shifted the limelight here, but they somehow do not qualify. They never studied in Assunta Girls School, Petaling Jaya.

Not that there were no previous homegrown patriots seeking fame and fortune abroad. We do make the occasional headlines when our stewardesses go on shoplifting sprees. At most, our syndicates get busted for credit card cloning or for running prostitution rings. Nothing to shout about, even though we may have Malaysian-born drug smugglers, pimps and bookies incarcerated in every capital city around the world.

Like Ms Posh, I was truly apprehensive when I first read the startling revelations. Not only that; I was even suspicious of her roots. Then, I read reports that Ms Marbeck was SMS-ing the living daylights out of Mr Beckham after the brief liaison. That confirmed it for me. No woman, unless she's Malaysian, can harass a man so incessantly via text messaging.

And now, just as we are about to celebrate with fireworks over Jalan P Ramlee and confer her a datukship, something unfortunate cropped up. The Sun has gone to town with fresh allegations that she previously worked at the posh and award-winning Australian brothel, The Boardroom of Melbourne. I am hopeful that she worked there only as a receptionist and not as reported. She kissed and she fell.

© 2004 TV SMITH
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