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TV Smith's Dua Sen. The politically incorrect irregular columnist combines
his idiosyncratic observations and tangential commentary into a blog...
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THE
NAKED CARD
by TV Smith
15/07/03
The
multi-purpose MyKad
is the latest version of our perpetually metamorphosing
IC. With an embedded smart chip, it can also store
our medical history, driver's license, act as an
ATM card, serve as an electronic purse and even
be used at the National
Library. However, a recent
experience by a holder brought to light the
questionable control on access, potential information
abuse and privacy
infringement. As the belated debate
rages on, I can foresee a likely scenario when ordering
pizzas in the near future...
Operator :
"Thank you for calling Pizza Rumah Attap.
May I have your..."
Customer:
"Haloo, can I order.."
Operator :
"Can I have your MyKad number first, Sir?"
Customer:
"It's eh..., hold on...... 6102049998-45-54610"
Operator :
"OK... you're... Mr Dhaljeet Singh and you're
calling from 17 Jalan Awan Hitam, off Jalan Ipoh.
Your home number
is 4094 2366, your office 7645 2302 and your mobile
is 014 266 2566. Which number are you calling
from now Sir?
Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone
numbers?"
Operator :
"We are connected to the MyKad system Sir"
Customer:
"May I order your Seafood Pizza..."
Operator :
"That's not a good idea Sir"
Customer:
"How come?"
Operator :
"According to your medical records, you have
high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol
level Sir"
Customer:
"What?... What do you recommend then?"
Operator :
"Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll
like it"
Customer:
"How do you know for sure?"
Operator :
"You borrowed a book entitled "Popular
Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library
last week Sir"
Customer:
"OK I give up... Give me three family sized
ones then, how much will that cost?
Operator :
"That should be enough for your family of
10, Sir. The total is 99.99 Ringgit..."
Customer:
"Can I pay by credit card?"
Operator :
"I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir.
Your credit card is over the limit and you're
owing your bank 6720.55
Ringgit since October last year"
Customer:
"Mera Lund Choong..." [Translation]
Operator :
"That's not including the late payment charges
on your housing loan Sir.
Customer:
"I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood
ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"
Operator :
"You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've
reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal
today"
Customer:
"Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have
the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"
Operator :
"About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait
you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle..."
Customer:
"Kuti!" [Translation]
Operator :
"According to the details in your MyKad,
you own a Comel Scooter, ...registration number
WOB 1123..."
Customer:
"Tera peh thenoo picheyo kush karda hunda!"
[Translation]
Operator :
"Better watch your language Sir. Remember
on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using
abusive language on
a policeman... ?"
Customer:
[Speechless]
Operator :
"Is there anything else Sir?"
Customer:
"Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving
me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"
Operator :
"We normally would Sir, but based on your
records you're also diabetic....... "
©
2003 TV SMITH
Link to this article: http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/150703_mykad.html
See also: ANY OLD
WOUNDS IN YOUR VAGINA? | PEEPING
TANS | THE MOUSE
& THE RATS
Link
to TV Smith's Dua Sen: http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/
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