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TV Smith's Dua Sen. The politically incorrect irregular columnist combines
his idiosyncratic observations and tangential commentary into a blog...
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CRASH
TEST DUMMIES OF KL
by TV Smith
06/07/03
Crash
Test Dummies of KL
A Dua Sen Exclusive
Secrets
behind the explosion in outdoor dining! |
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BY TV SMITH
KUALA LUMPUR: Authorities in neighbouring
Petaling Jaya (and parts of Selangor) are
frantically seizing dining equipment found
on roads and kerbs. Council lorries roam the
streets nightly, forcing coffee shop owners
to move their wares onto five-foot-ways
vacated by illegal VCD
vendors.
Meanwhile, Kuala
Lumpur seems to be undergoing a new renaissance
in open-air dining. Whether through co-incidence
or organized defiance, the eruption of Mount
Alfresco is spilling red hot plastic onto
the streets, redefining the cityscape and
realigning traffic movement.
The enjoined municipal
siblings may be separated by a marble arch
and different set of regulations, but shouldn't
a common-sense
ruling be applied uniformly across the
entire Klang Valley?
Apparently, the residents
of Kuala Lumpur are more robust and can better
survive a collision during meal time. Perhaps,
this explains the increasing number of outdoor
diners moonlighting as crash test dummies.
Dr Ina Leong, Head
of the Orthopedic Faculty at a leading local
university, revealed that a field study entitled
"Bone Restructuring Under External
Mechanical Stress" is being carried
out.
The research is conducted
using human volunteers at various roadside
dining locations in Kuala Lumpur. It is rumoured
that there would be no banning of roadside
dining in KL until the experiments are completed.
Professor Anthony
Fernando, author of the banned book Holding
Hands In Public, has a different
theory on the lackadaisical enforcement. He
believes some officers of local councils took
upon themselves to impose not just their (own)
values but 'value' as well. Lives of KLites
are probably valued less than those of their
PJ counterparts, he suggested.
Life may be
cheap in KL and some shop owners know it only
too well. Several '24-hour' food shops and
stall owners allegedly superglued their
chairs and tables to the road. |
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Cut
along the dotted line. Can you find the the
dotted line in the middle of the road? |
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Streaks
of tail-lights captured by camera's slow exposure
speed as vehicles
zoomed by dangerously close. |
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Mamak
For Dummies. All pictures taken in KL
on the night of July 5th, 2003. |
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Others in PJ encourage
their customers to bring their own foldable
furniture, hoping to eliminate evidence tied
to their eateries.
Can we blame the restoran
operators? Having endured past whimsical rulings,
inconsistent policies and uneven enforcement,
many regard the current exercise as a travelling
roadside show.
A show we've seen
many times before. To paraphrase that popular
ABBA song;
"Mamak Mee-ah, here we go again..." |
Unless
otherwise stated, all photographs © TV SMITH
©
2003 TV SMITH
Link to this article: http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/060703_dummies.html
See also: FOR
EVERY REACTION... | MOTOR-PSYCHOS
| DOUBLE THE
DANGER... | A
VIEW TO A KILL
Link
to TV Smith's Dua Sen: http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/
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