TV SMITH's Dua Sen: From The Classifieds
TV Smith's Dua Sen
TV Smith's Dua Sen. The politically incorrect irregular columnist combines his idiosyncratic observations and tangential commentary into a blog...


by TV Smith

The current hubbub over the alleged sale of honorific titles inspires a zany parody from TV SMITH. What if datukships were transferable and could be traded like club memberships? What would the ads look like, he wonders...

Datukship available for immediate transfer. Owner upgraded to Tan Sriship. Contact: 014 526 8967New Titles now shipping. Government approved agent. By tender only. Mail Ahmad at PO Box 99869961 KK
Editor of independent news portal seeks affordable datukship. Will consider 3rd/4th hand. 014 256 2256Best Buy. Former news editor migrating overseas. Selling below market price. Contact 014 245 3899
Datuks-R-Us. Biggest inventory of new/used titles. All available ex-stock. Visit our shop at grd flr Wisma PJMOriginal Title awarded through merit available. Serious buyers only. RM 75000 firm. Call 014 552 7896
Mount Everest conquerors looking for Datukship titles to rent with purchase in mind. Call 014 636 2232Computer-modified pics for 2nd hand buyers missing out on investiture ceremonies. Call Alice 014 332 3322
Instant Datinship available. Datuk, 85, seeks suitable female partner for life. Contact 014 235 5441Attractive Package. Datukship with single digit car plate available. Must sell together. Tel: 014 658 9989
Urgent Sale. Former sports hero disposing title due to financial emergency. Must go. Tel: 014 233 3356Honorific Titles wanted by ready buyers. All states considered. No brokers. Tel: 014 369 7774
MC specialises in long salutations. No long titles too tough to pronounce! Call Godfrey at 014 223 3969Ceremonial Outfit from former title owner for immediate sale. Price negotiable. Hash at 014 235 6655
Auction Datukship title - Last 2 days on E-Bay. E-mail me for details;
Daily Datukship rentals available. Attend functions as a VIP. No long term expenditure. Call 014 663 3366
Easy Financing or re-financing. Low interest, fast approvals. Titles before 2003 only. Tel: 014 252 2222Stolen Datukship certificates S/N 200023 to 210100
If found or offered, please contact Instant Datuk Corp.
No Down Payment. Just continue with low monthly installments. Interested? Contact Julie at 014 985 6666Garage Sale. Businessman with 9 titles for sale. View to appreciate. This Sunday at 2344B Jalan PJZ 200/56.
Join 90,000 other Datuks cum record setters in the largest gathering of its kind. Dataran Merdeka, 6/12/03Datukships For Dummies. New book guides you thru the process of purchasing titles. At leading bookstores.

This article appears (in a different layout) on page 3 of today's StarMag (The Sunday Star).

© 2003 TV SMITH
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