TV SMITH's Dua Sen: What Really Happens In LRTs
TV Smith's Dua Sen
TV Smith's Dua Sen. The politically incorrect irregular columnist combines his idiosyncratic observations and tangential commentary into a blog...


by TV Smith

Apart from slapstick comedy like vulgar hand gestures and lewd remarks against women MPs, some of our jesters in Parliament do come out with real funny one-liners once in a while. Somebody said:

"The man is wearing a tie, hinting that he is EDUCATED and works as an executive. Do we want this negative image for our community?"

For the uninitiated, this howler was made in protest of a harmless TV commercial about good manners in a train. But then again, what do chauffeured MPs know about riding in LRTs...

Bala: Bro, there's a bloated blind bugger standing in front of us. [nudges his friend Ali]

Ali: You blind also? Can't you see I'm still reading last Saturday's Star?

Bala: So?
© 2005 TV SMITH
Ali: Too heavy to hold standing up...

Bala: OK, I'll ask Wong after he finishes his bladi conference call.

10 minutes later...

Bala: Psst.. there's a blind bugger without a seat... [whispers to Wong on his left]

Wong: Don't worry Bala. He's getting down soon at the Sogo station.

Ali: Dude, how you know he's going shopping at Sogo?

Wong: He's going to Globe's.

Bala: Cheaper and got his size?

Wong: He's the resident accordion player on the five-foot-way there.

Ali: Bala, why don't you give up your seat instead?

Bala: You crazy? I form six only. You two fellas got double MBAs.

Wong: True, they say in Parlimen only the less educated fellas are ugly Malaysians.

Bala: Yeah.. because they don't know how to steal from EPF, Petronas and MSC?

Ali: Forget about Stevie Wonder for a minute, you brought your camera?

Wong: Why, why?
© 2005 TV SMITH
Ali: Got chance for good upskirt pic. See the babe standing next to the old Mak Chik?

Bala: Use your camera phone as you always do Ali.

Ali: Ok... I try. Luckily my phone is 2 megapixel and got zoom summore.

Bala: Just make sure you don't drop your keropok.

Ali: Drop, I can pretend to pick up and snap at the same time mah...

Bala: After the blind man pick up for you how?

Wong: Yaloh... this tua pui sai damn ma huan one.

Ali: Wong, why are you suddenly speaking with an exaggerated Ah Beng accent?

Wong: I've been listening to too many local radio commercials I think.

Bala: Machas look! A pregnant woman just gave her seat to goondu!

Ali: Yay! Now the fat ass don't have to block our view anymore.

Wong: I think she sure she got PhD.

Bala: Permanent head damage?


© 2005 TV SMITH
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