THE LANDING STRIP IS MISSING!|
was not on a Cessna plane, making an emergency landing, as the title might suggest.
Instead, I was on my way to the PC Fair
by LRT when I got a call from a blogger friend (link withheld at her request and
henceforth to be known as Unidentified Fellow Blogger #27 or UFB27).
I just had a painful haircut...
Me: But I'm on the way to the PC Fair...
You're so uncaring...
Me: But they have a good deal on the latest Pioneer DVD
UFB27: Don't you want to see my new hairstyle?
Me: But the AO9
is a 16x dual layer writer with Ultra Dynamic Resonance Absorber...
I've just opened a bottle of wine...
Me: OK. Give me ten minutes.
I gave my seat to the elderly one-legged blind pregnant woman with three kids
in one arm and arrived at the deli only to find UFB27 happily sloshed. Her painful
experience turned out to be a Brazilian
wax job. To ease her pain I ordered another bottle of wine. Not wanting
to look like Malaysia's only lunchtime alcoholic couple, we invited fellow blogger
and boozer Sharizal (link given
at his request). He arrived shortly with a Swedish Japanese babe named Malena.
UFB27 and Malena are both ravishing statuesque babes, even without makeup on a
bright Saturday afternoon.
related a story about the time when she was clubbing in a Tokyo bar. She came
out of the washroom and was approached by two strangers who offered her US 200
to wee wee on their faces. She declined the offer tactfully, explaining her bladder
was already empty. The guys bowed politely and returned promptly with two giant
bottles of mineral water. Talk about persistence.
reminded me of another blogger (UFB21) who was keen on trying another popular
Japanese pastime known as bukkake.
I reluctantly refused her invitation as bukakkes are normally group outings and
I hate crowds. The only blogger I know who might enjoy this activity is Dr
Liew and I didn't know him well enough then to share a face. Anyway, in
case you didn't know, the generous goo you see on porn movies are usually faked
with a concoction made from starch and egg white. Trust me, I'm a filmmaker and
they teach us that in film school.
as everyone was about to dig into their brunch, I decided to share another scatological
tale. Every few months, a small elite circle of Japanese corporate leaders would
gather at a top-secret location. As they sit around a big meeting room table,
a nubile woman would climb to the middle of the table and defecate onto a silver
platter. Thereafter, a butler (in white gloves) takes the plate, carves her excrement
into equal portions and serves it on fine silverware. Weird or disgusting as it
may sound, her stool was evidently fragrant as she was fed with a special diet
of herbs and spices weeks ahead.
by this time I was the only one biting into the delicious salmon sandwich. Sharizal
and Malena quickly excused themselves. OK. Let's get back to something more appetising.
Let's get to my brief review of UFB27's new mons pubis. The thing about Malaysian
women with a fresh new waxing or piercing is that you need to answer three rapid-fire
mandatory questions before they even let you have a quick peep.
Are you sure you are not seeing anyone?
2. Are you sure you are not bluffing?
Are you sure you washed your hands?
answer the three standard questions in the affirmative and you're on your way.
Don't try to be smart. This is NOT Mix FM's "Wrong Answer Game." I have
seen my fair share of Brazilian waxes but in this case, the requisite 'landing
strip' or the tiny upside-down narrow triangle was missing. It was her own choice,
I was reminded. Pardon me for waxing lyrical but this is one pussy smoother than
a Shar Pei dog. As
the celebrity bald eagle Gwyneth
Paltrow would readily attest, there should also be no thorny five-o'clock-shadow
the day after, unlike those cheap razor jobs.
(03 7710 8813) is located in One Utama and they charge between RM 80 to RM 130
for a wax. Yes, I do detailed reviews but please bring your own painkillers or
Link to this article: http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/270305_strip.html