TV SMITH's Dua Sen: Yet Another Week In Review (ending 24th July 2004)
TV Smith's Dua Sen
TV Smith's Dua Sen. The politically incorrect irregular columnist combines his idiosyncratic observations and tangential commentary into a blog...


by TV Smith

BustedYou Have The Right To Remain Silent
Ever wonder what happened to all those dropouts from our Police Academy? Some became dogcatchers, apparently. Guang Ming Daily highlighted the case of the dogcatcher who treats homeless mutts like dangerous criminals. The sicko cop wannabe frisked and handcuffed this hapless puppy after suspecting it to be ownerless.

Picture as seen on the 23rd July issue of Guang Ming Daily

Bitumen Bondage
An oversized woman manning a shop chased a thief, tackled him to the ground and sat on his face. When a snatch thief gets a big snatch staring at his face in public, he knows his career is over. Still, he managed to crawl the bitumen with her riding piggyback. Several cowardly male witnesses watched from the sidelines, thinking it was some bizarre sex games. All she wanted in life was a certificate from a slimming salon. The heroine of Seremban got a certificate of appreciation from the police instead.

If We Are Only Friends
When the world's biggest dictatorship bullied the world's smallest dictatorship recently, Malaysia decided to play it safe. After all, we rank third in the list of countries with the most Chinese ministers. Our ministers are now not allowed to make official visits to a "country" which we have bi-lateral trade exceeding 30 billion ringgit a year.

Updoolair Berdarewe
Don't laugh at our Ah Lians and Ah Bengs, the next time you overhear them ordering Sarlim or Mabolo cigarettes at Zouk. Damn white guys can't even pronounce the name of our Prime Minister properly. The White House meeting between Ber-Dare-We and the Conqueror of Eye-Rag was widely reported by radio and television networks across the Western hemisphere.

Conversion Of Convenience
The lawyers, the judges, the press, the politicians, the religious officers, the NGOs and even Jeff Ooi didn't want to state the obvious. Scumbag husbands may now seek unilateral dissolution of marriage, change the religion of their children overnight and obtain instant custody.

When our cops and criminals have a shoot out, you better take cover. Our gun-toting hoodlums can't shoot straight either. A hit man bungled up an opportunity to eliminate another politician by missing his sitting target.

Privatised Privatisation
A privatised telco found out after some twenty years later that they are still stuck with employees from a government department. They decided to outsource their call center. Hopefully, the privatised entity will privatised more departments soon.

Lust Tango In Kandahar
Kandahar in Afghanistan is widely known as THE sodomy capital of the world. Bearded men and boys are now indulging in the customary pastime openly again, after Bush booted the Talibans out. Some Malaysian parents are, reportedly, sending their children to a religious school there. Who the hell approved this twinning program?

© 2004 TV SMITH
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