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TV Smith's Dua Sen. The politically incorrect irregular columnist combines
his idiosyncratic observations and tangential commentary into a blog...
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YET ANOTHER WEEK IN REVIEW (ending 24th July)
by
TV Smith
24/07/04
 | You
Have The Right To Remain Silent
Ever wonder what happened to all those
dropouts from our Police Academy? Some became dogcatchers, apparently. Guang
Ming Daily highlighted the case of the dogcatcher who treats homeless
mutts like dangerous criminals. The sicko cop wannabe frisked and handcuffed this
hapless puppy after suspecting it to be ownerless.
Picture as seen
on the 23rd July issue of Guang Ming Daily |
Bitumen
Bondage
An oversized woman manning a shop chased a thief, tackled him to
the ground and sat on his face. When a snatch thief gets a big snatch
staring at his face in public, he knows his career is over. Still, he managed
to crawl the bitumen with her riding piggyback. Several cowardly male witnesses
watched from the sidelines, thinking it was some bizarre sex games. All she wanted
in life was a certificate from a slimming salon. The heroine of Seremban got a
certificate of appreciation from the police instead.
If
We Are Only Friends
When the world's biggest dictatorship bullied the
world's smallest dictatorship recently, Malaysia
decided to play it safe. After all, we rank third
in the list of countries with the most Chinese
ministers. Our ministers are now not allowed to
make official visits to a "country" which
we have bi-lateral trade exceeding 30
billion ringgit a year.
Updoolair
Berdarewe
Don't laugh at our Ah Lians and Ah Bengs, the next time you overhear
them ordering Sarlim or Mabolo cigarettes at Zouk. Damn white guys
can't even pronounce the name of our Prime Minister properly. The White House
meeting between Ber-Dare-We and the Conqueror of Eye-Rag was widely
reported by radio and television networks across the Western hemisphere.
Conversion
Of Convenience
The lawyers, the judges, the press, the politicians, the
religious officers, the NGOs and even Jeff
Ooi didn't want to state the obvious. Scumbag husbands may now seek unilateral
dissolution of marriage, change the religion of their children overnight and obtain
instant custody. Damn!
When
our cops and criminals have a shoot out, you better take cover. Our gun-toting
hoodlums can't shoot straight either. A hit man bungled up an opportunity to eliminate
another politician by missing his sitting target. Privatised
Privatisation
A privatised telco found out after some twenty years later
that they are still stuck with employees from a government department. They decided
to outsource their call center. Hopefully, the privatised entity will privatised
more departments soon.
Lust Tango In Kandahar
Kandahar in Afghanistan is widely known as THE
sodomy capital of the world. Bearded men and boys are now indulging in the customary
pastime openly again, after Bush booted the Talibans out. Some Malaysian
parents are, reportedly, sending their children to a religious school there. Who
the hell approved this twinning program?
©
2004 TV SMITH
Link to this article: http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/240704_twir.html
See also: THE WEEK BEFORE
Link
to TV Smith's Dua Sen: http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/
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