FOG
ME DEAD
by
TV Smith
16/08/05
I got a call from a friend who works in a "5-day week" agency.
He is in charge of wooing those foreigners - with cameras around their necks -
to come shop at our previously less crowded shopping malls, stay in our previously
less exorbitantly priced hotels & ride in those cabs previously using meters.
He said in no uncertain terms that - since this website attracts nearly
as many viewers as that reality TV show (in which students donated millions of
ringgit to needy telcos) - I should do the honourable thing and replace the fogged-up
picture of Dataran Merdeka.
He was worried the picture may scare
the people who are coming to shop at our previously less crowded shopping malls,
stay in our previously less exorbitantly priced hotels & ride in those cabs
previously using meters. Fog it! To cut a long story short; I said OK. For a moment,
I thought he was gonna say no more
hugging pictures. After
all, less than 48 hours after the declaration of the awful sounding State
of Emergency, the Bomoh Association of Wilayah Persekutuan & Selangor
(BAWS) successfully handed the cloud of haze to Penang. The kiamsiap islanders
indicated they will graciously put up with it so long as there is no charge. Anyway,
I figured the only way to get irrefutable proof, is to go find a high enough vantage
point for my camera. To help me discharge my patriotic duty, I enlisted my neighbour
Nita.
(quick call to Nita):
Me: Remember the place you said
you lost your bra a few weeks ago?
Nita: Uh-huh. Why?
Me: I need you to
show me the way, now.
Nita: OK. But I won't be wearing one.
Me: That was
the only bra you own???
Nita: No lah, it's already late, lazy to dress up mah...
Me:
Jom!
So
off we went, round and round the endless maze of the Ampang/Cheras suburbs. Twenty
minutes later, we finally reached the foothill of Klang Valley's ultimate make-out
palace. As we neared the peak of "Mini Gentings" (as it is popularly
known), I noticed something disturbing. Fog! There is racial segregation even
in mass petting!
Around the third last turn, were rows of cars occupied
by Malay couples. At the next turn were Indian lovers and the home stretch was
filled with horny Chinese folks. How do I know (about the racial composition)?
There is a burger stall, kacang putih seller and chee chong fun stall at each
respective corner.
I like the Ramli Burger section though; those Sentul
& Ah Beng foggers have got no respect for peace and serenity. Stop smooching
and blasting your car stereo at the same time mutherfoggers! (Listen to mini
sound samples - Jinjang or Sentul
Version - click to play or download mp3s. Remember to blast your volume)
Still, it was nice to see Malaysians of all races congregating (voluntarily)
without the customary lure of free food or goody bags. The atmosphere was festive
and the place seem much safer than the other
spot I went previously. Fog me dead, there was indeed no haze nor peeping
toms in uniform...
 | | Olympus
C8080, ISO 50, f5.6, 15 sec exposure - 14th August 2005 10:48 pm |
See
also: WHAT THE FOG?! | STATE
OF EMERGENCY | THE OTHER SIDE OF MIDNIGHT
©
2005 TV SMITH
Link to this article: http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/160805_fogging.html
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