TV Smith's Dua Sen. The politically incorrect irregular columnist combines
his idiosyncratic observations and tangential commentary into a blog...
by TV Smith
the early 80's, a former Miss Malaysia and her boyfriend
were regular room guests at a highlands resort.
Unwitting performers, they delighted audiences in
the air cond ducts above their bed with their acrobatic
escapades. Due to limited seating, a long list of
hotel employees would wait patiently for their turn
to crawl up dark and narrow passageways to become
silent spectators of the weekend trysts.
My girlfriend then, was inspired by stories of the
couple's famed wheelbarrow coupling and wanted to
try it. Not that I was unwilling, that particular
coital position was a bit unsuitable for our usual
love-making venue; my trusty and rusty Datsun 1200.
Our squeaky mobile bed was often anchored at the
legendary Bukit Ceylon car park, sandwiched between
the St Andrews Church and a residential palace.
A nondescript landmark by day, it was filled with
hundreds of cars participating in synchronized humping
at night. With cars moving in and out every few
minutes, there was a certain carnival like atmosphere
to it. The only thing missing at the playground
of the poor and unfamous was the ice cream man.
In the mornings after, stained tissue papers and
wilted condoms languished in the sun, a sticky testimony
of the government's unsuccessful Anti-Litter and
70 Million Population campaigns.
gear stick and handbrake lever were not the only
hindrances to smooth and undisturbed quickies.
Experienced parkers would either blast the air
cond or mist up the windows with their rapid breath
and rising body heat. Such time wasting pre-copulation
rituals were necessary for privacy reasons. Overlooking
the car park, was a hill and secondary jungle
filled with nocturnal inhabitants squatting on
tree branches with packets of Menglembu groundnuts.
The only tell tale signs of these passionate observers
were the tiny burning red spots of cigarettes
lit to keep the mosquitoes away. On the ground
another species of lecherous lurkers were the
policemen on motorcycles. They would pick a car
at random, observe quietly and then shine a torchlight,
with amazing accuracy, at the woman's exposed
genital during her most vulnerable moment. Ironically,
the vehicle occupants often became ardent onlookers
themselves. Post orgasmic bonding involved putting
the seats upright and watching the misty wayang
kulit performance of the adjacent car through
romantic sodium streetlights.
and outdoor sex have become an industry by itself.
Armed with night vision binoculars and infra-red
enabled handycams, the civilian aficionados join
uniformed duty bound public servants in prowling
car parks, recreational parks and reservoirs.
Enterprising snoopers at the Seremban Lake Gardens
built elaborate tree houses and moved about in
the darkness disguised as bushes and tree trunks.
Amorous Muslim couples face even greater perils.
The thoughtful and conscientious voyeuristic officers
would let them finish their business before moving
in to fulfill their roles as consummate witnesses
to illicit sex.
lazier peeping tans can now plant hidden video
cameras in hotel rooms, bedrooms, changing rooms
and in toilet bowls. Wired or wireless, they watch
everything live or recorded from the comfort and
relative safety of their office or home. A quick
check at Malaysia's premier electronics marketplace,
Pasar Road, reveals that wireless cameras, the
size of a suppository, are now available for under
RM 1000, putting electronic pubic surveillance
into the hands of the masses.
congruous technological revolution is sweeping
Malaysia. Happy yuppie peepies armed with those
new fangled mobile phones with built-in cameras
are photographing up skirts and down cleavages
with unprecedented ease and enthusiasm. Realizing
their true calling in life, this new breed of
underwear paparazzi target unsuspecting women
on escalators, LRTs and underneath bistro tables.
These high tech predators are intruding into traditional
Malaysian male pastimes like 'cuci-ing mata' at
Bintang Walk and building treetop observatories.
2003 TV SMITH
Link to this article: http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/120503_peepingtans.html
See also: SEX
PLEASE, WE'RE MALAYSIANS | ANY
OLD WOUNDS IN YOUR VAGINA? | MENAGE
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