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TV Smith's Dua Sen. The politically incorrect irregular columnist combines
his idiosyncratic observations and tangential commentary into a blog...
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UNCLE
HO'S MEGA SALE by
TV Smith 02/06/03
UNCLE
HO PRE-ELECTIONS MEGA SALE - UP TO 99% DISCOUNT! The Bargains Are Back, There's
No Sale Like An Uncle Ho Sale |
Due to the SARS (Sudden
Aggressive Raids Syndrome) outbreak, Uncle Ho Holdings is temporarily ceasing
all outdoor retail operations. As such, we are clearing our warehouses of all
unsold VCD & DVD titles.* Please visit our Anchor Stalls at SS2 Pasar Malam
and Petaling Street. 1st to 10th June 2003, evenings only. *Credit Card Payment
for purchases above RM 1 only. Message To Our Employees
All 'confirmed' staff will be re-deployed to other companies in our holdings including
Imbi Duplication Technologies, Ah Loong Finance Company, Uncle Ho Indoor Prawn
Fishing & Gaming Company and Uncle Ho Feng Thou Technotheques. Alternatively,
employees can also choose to become a home distributor under our ISS (Involuntary
Separation Scheme). This is a new profitable franchise scheme for employees possesing
their own home DVD / CD burners. Please note that our Compatible Computer Software
Division is not affected by the recent SARS outbreak. We thank and apologise
to the thousands who responded to our earlier recruitment ad on 08/05/03: http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/080503_uncleho.html
Message To Our Customers As an innovative supplier, Uncle
Ho Holdings is constantly upgrading its delivery methods, products, services &
marketing strategies and will be announcing some new exciting programs soon. Here's
a peek into some of the latest development: Uncle Ho's Multi-Level-Network-Marketing-Direct-Selling-Cepat
Kaya-Pyramid Scheme. Join us and market exciting products which you can use at
home. No upliners except for Uncle Ho and his family members. Starter kit with
50 VCDs from only RM 50! Uncle Ho's Hozaa Syndicate-to-Peer (S2P) File
Sharing System. As soon as Streamyx becomes broadband, Malaysians will be able
download the lastest movies from Uncle Ho's extensive video library (for a small
fee). | Hot
New Titles At Low Prices: Kehidupan Seorang Pramugari Yang Terlampau
- RM 3 New Domestic
Airline version. No frills; jumps straight into action.
Kehidupan
Seorang Artis Drama Swasta Yang Terlampau - RM 1 Out
Of Stock GRO
Peeing On Back Of Police Truck Video - RM 0.75 An award-winning
nature documentary by RELA Reality TV Productions.
Italian Tourist's KLCC Under
Escalator Video - RM 0.50 Avant-garde European arthouse film.
Old
Favourites/Evergreens: The Chu Mei Feng Escapades - The Entire Series
- RM 0.20 With English, Malay & Tamil subtitles
De Seremban
Couple - RM 0.10 Voted Most Boring Video of Malaysia, consecutively
from 1993 to 2003. Collectors
Series: The Yellow Sari 1990 - RM 0.05 Only
home video ever debated in our Parliament. Fungus-free version. |
Non-Software
Items For Sale: VCD
Factory Mint condition VCD factory at Pulau Sipadan. Datuk owned. Service
history and new parts available.
Table
Cloths & Plywoods 68,260 red table cloths, plywoods and iron table
stands to clear. Suitable for low-budget Chinese seafood restaurants.
Walkie-Talkies Uncle Ho offers all Malaysian registered security service
companies a chance to own an original Motorola UHF Walkie-Talkie at a special
price. By deploying walkie talkies, local security companies will be able to attract
more scrawny teenagers and kids seeking employment as security guards. | 
Items at Uncle Ho's warehouse.
All must go! | Waist
Pouches 50,000 quality unused Uncle Ho branded waist pouches available.
Can fit 100 VCDs without bulging. Suitable for other pasar malam vendors, coffee
shop workers and the fashion conscious. For
more information, please contact:
The Group Marketing Director. Syarikat Kumpulan Uncle Ho VCD DVD CD CD-ROM
Holdings & Group Of Companies (Malaysia) (1998) Sdn Bhd. E-Mail: sales_uncleho@mycen.com.my
| Community
Service / News / Promotions With the invaluable experience gained
from 'tailing' enforcement officers and vehicles, our 'tontos' have started thier
own business; The Lone Ranger Stalking Company Sdn Bhd. Stalk
your dream girl, guy, favourite celebrity, ex-girlfriend, ex-wife,
current girlfriend, mistress from as low as RM 5 per hour. Uncle Ho
Holdings has just acquired a 70% stake in Rolex Cloning Technologies Sdn Bhd
of Petaling Street as part of its diversification strategy.
Please note that the closing date for the 2003 Uncle Ho Local Council of The
Year Award is extended to 31st July 2003 as several of our past
winners have withdrawn their participation at the last minute. |
UNCLE
HO PRE-ELECTIONS MEGA SALE - UP TO 99% DISCOUNT! The Bargains Are Back, There's
No Sale Like An Uncle Ho Sale | |
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© 2003 TV SMITH
Link to this article: http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/020603_uncleho2.html
See
also: UNCLE HO WANTS YOU | LATUK
LOCTOR HO | PLATE
SIGHTINGS | M'SIA BOLEH RECORDS
Link
to TV Smith's Dua Sen: http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/
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