| TV
Smith of Dua Sen (www.mycen.com.my/duasen) has another light-hearted
look at the election process and comes up with a quick and dirty FAQ for the newbie
voter… Out
of the 10.8 million registered voters, some 800,000 citizens will be first timers
in the coming elections. In Malaysia, a virgin voter can be 21 or 91 years of
age, depending on the person's interest or reluctance. At any age, going to the
polls for the first time can be confusing and intimidating. Here's everything
you wanted to know about the elections but never bothered to ask…
Please
do not copy and paste; instead link to http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/180304_voting.html
My dad keeps saying I don't
need to vote. What could that mean?
It could mean one of three things.
There is 'no-contest' in your constituency, he does not agree with your political
affiliation or he's got tickets to the F1.
Please
do not copy and paste; instead link to http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/180304_voting.html
Should I vote or go for
the Formula 1 race?
You can do
both unless you are voting in Kota Baru and travel with an unmodified cub chai.
Most polling stations (in Peninsular Malaysia) open from 8:00 am, while the action
in Sepang begins only at 3:00 pm. However, do take into account that most
of the traveling time is taken up by the traditional two hour-long traffic snarl
in the vicinity of the tracks. Alternatively, park your car at KL Sentral and
take the special
KLIA Express train. It's only RM 55 for a return ticket that includes shutter
bus service to the circuit.
Can
I vote by SMS?
You can vote for your favourite idol or even declare divorce
by SMS but currently you can't choose your MP this way. I am sure Malaysia will
be the first country to adopt SMS voting once it is technically and legally feasible.
Pre-paid voters will replace phantom voters.
What is a DUN dude?
Dewan Undangan Negeri (State Legislative
Assembly). Duh.
I am not registered. Should I try my luck on polling
day?
No, stay at home. On polling day, no unauthorised person is allowed
within 150 meters of a polling station. Normally that includes the unregistered
voter, canvasser, free transport provider, mobile
VCD peddler and even the ice-cream man. I said normally. |  |
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Can I talk to my favourite candidate and assess his or her views on certain issues?
Yes. Do it now, as in some cases the elected representative will not be seen within
300 km of his or her constituency until the next elections.
Please
do not copy and paste; instead link to http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/180304_voting.html
What do I wear?
Do not wear T-shirts emblazoned with pictures of weighing scales, moons or rockets
lest you be mistaken for a party worker. Wear something comfortable as there might
be queues and don't forget your IC or MyKad.
Please do not copy and paste; instead link to http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/180304_voting.html
What if I mistakenly
crossed-out the wrong candidate on the ballot paper?
You screwed up big
time. You cannot ask for a new piece of paper, use blanko or attach an
explanatory note. Any alterations will be rejected as a spoilt vote. Try again
in another five years.
Please do not copy and paste;
instead link to http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/180304_voting.html
What
happens if there are 2 ballot boxes at the polling station?
That means
you are required to cast votes for both Parliament and State Legislative Assembly
seats. Two separate ballot papers will have to be marked, folded and inserted
into boxes labeled "PARLIMEN" and "NEGERI" respectively. Try
not to screw up again.
Please do not copy and paste;
instead link to http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/180304_voting.html
I
keep hearing the moniker "KS". What does it mean?
Depending
on who and where you ask, it may mean any of the following; Kit Siang (DAP P64
Ipoh Timor), Karnail Singh (Barisan Nasional P107 Subang), Karpal Singh (DAP P51
Bukit Gelugor), Kusni Simon (Keadilan N14 Bukit Naning), Kamarudin Sedik (PAS
N26 Serkam), Kuna Sekaran (Keadilan N22 Jalong) or Kereta Schumacher (Ferrari
- P113 Sepang).
Please do not copy and paste; instead
link to http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/180304_voting.html
I
missed the recent Astro video segment featuring the interesting Mix
FM interview with PM Pak Lah. I heard it on radio but did I miss something
important with the television broadcast?
Yes. Richard Ng needs to diet.
Please
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Should I panic if I don't
see Pak Lah's face or name on the ballot paper?
You will only see the
party symbols and names of the candidates in your area. This is not a presidential
election. You can't vote for him directly unless you are registered to vote in
his constituency (P41 Kepala Batas) in Penang. The head of the party that commands
the most votes becomes the prime minister.
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Will the recent
discovery of the new planet Sedna
have any bearing on the elections?
It might affect the plans of those
who believe that they will go to heaven if they vote for a certain party.
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Who are those noisy groups of people going round in convoys blaring horns,
waving flags and shouting slogans?
They are party workers and supporters.
Their principal mission is to garner votes by waking up people at 2'o clock in
the morning.
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What is a phantom voter?
A phantom
voter is a person who shows up at a polling station hundreds of kilometers from
where he or she was buried originally.
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Should people who cannot even properly fill nomination papers be allowed to
represent us in Parliament in the first place?
Yes. It just shows that
the disqualified candidate is computer savvy and cannot properly function without
a spell checker.
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What is an independent candidate?
An independent candidate is a person
with a funny hairstyle contesting with even funnier symbols. Previous symbols
included an umbrella, a goat, a key and a cauliflower.
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What is the most important prerequisite for a Malaysian politician?
The ability to shed tears at will, at a moment's notice or at the most unexpected
moment.
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What was
the most traumatising scene for television viewers during the last elections?
A fat guy in a loose sarong being thrown about in the air by his supporters as
he shouts "Malaysia Boleh!"
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What do you think will be the most traumatising scene on television this time
around?
A fat guy in a loose sarong being thrown about in the air by his
supporters as he shouts "Malaysia Boleh!"
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*Dungus is the slang word for dummies or in this case, virgin voters. This
article was published in StarMag (The Sunday
Star) on Election Day.
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paste; instead link to http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/180304_voting.html |
