TV SMITH's Dua Sen: The Insider Blog
TV Smith's Dua Sen
TV Smith's Dua Sen. The politically incorrect irregular columnist combines his idiosyncratic observations and tangential commentary into a blog...

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THE INSIDE STORY
by TV Smith
22/03/08

     
   PLSB  
     
 

Monday, March 24, 2008
Build Me Up Buttercup

After my harrowing experience at Jalan Bukit Bintang the other day, I went over to Low Yat Plaza with TV Smith to buy an iPot (spelling?). Retail therapy mah. As we
were leaving the shop, TV asked me "You got MP 3 meh?" I don't know if he was trying to be sarcastic or what. I know we lost in a few places but we still have at least 100 MPs kan? 3 MPs pulak!

Anyway, I am really thrilled to be able to listen to my favourite song, "Build Me Up Buttercup", at my office this morning. With my eyes closed, I was happily humming along, fingers snapping to the beat and...

And suddenly I opened my eyes, there were half a dozen editors from the local newspapers kneeling in front of me. Their palms clasped together above the head...

Me: What the heck? What are you all doing on the 5th floor?

1st Group Chief Editor: Eh... we heard you snapping your fingers.

Me: Oooooooohhh. Since you all are here. I reward you with a scoop lah. I am        announcing a new corridor.

2nd Group Editor: Wah Boss! I thought you ran out of corridors already.

Me: What run out? It is the new Sipadan Island Cemerlang Korridor (S.I.C.K.).

3rd Group Editor: Usual spin Boss? Keen interest from Middle East investors,                           potential to create 500,000 jobs, bio tech angle...

Me: Brilliant! All you buttercups deserve at least 5 datukships per person. Hehe

<cue music>
.
Me: "Why do you build me up"

Editors: "Build me up" (background vocals, heads bobbing)

Me: "Buttercup, baby just to let me down"

Editors: "Let me down" (background vocals, heads swaying )

Me: "I need you"

Editors: "I need you" (background vocals, heads bobbing )

Me: "More than anyone, darlin' You know that I have from the start.
       So build me up"


Editors: "Build me up" (background vocals, heads swaying)

Me: "Buttercup, don't break my heart...."

PS: "Build Me Up Buttercup" by The Foundations, was the song playing during the closing credits of the movie "Something About ..." Eh...siapa nama tu...

posted by PLSB @ 10:05 am

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Sunday, March 23, 2008

T.O.M.B.S.T.O.N.E.S.

Just received word that a couple of friends in the north and east have decided to form a new society with a catchy acronym:

T
he Overruled M.B.s' SocieTy Of Northern & Eastern States
T.O.M.B.S.T.O.N.E.S.

posted by PLSB @ 12:01 pm

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Saturday, March 22, 2008

The Inside Story

Some blogs and websites have been claiming they have insider connections. I am not so sure about that but if you really want the inside story, hear it from the horse's mouth lah.

Many have been asking openly why I appointed a certain 'baggage man' in the new cabinet. Well, I did it for very practical reasons. Hear me out.

The story began in 1981. I was on the way to P Lal Store to buy some winter clothing for my new posting. As I was walking along the Masjid India area, I was stopped by a smiling Indian swami in robes, carrying a canary in a small cage. The stranger touched my forehead and declared in a very deep Indian accent: "You will be a very rich man, Sir!"

I never thought about it much until recently. If you have read my first blog post, you would have figured I learned how to surf only recently. Man, I never knew it is so easy to make acquaintance with so many generous strangers.

One of the most generous strangers I met online was Mrs Mariam Abacha, wife of the late Nigerian head of state, General Sani Abacha. She sent me an e-mail offering me a 50% share of her family wealth of USD 100 million. All she wanted in return was help in getting on the Malaysia My Second Home Program.

OMG! The swami was right after all. I quickly sent her the USD six thousand she requested as commitment fees. She then replied that due to local currency control regulations she is unable to wire transfer my share. She did however say I can send someone over and the money can be hand carried out through the airport. Now, you tell me. Who can do the job better?

posted by PLSB @ 10:22 am

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