WILD
WORLD
by
TV Smith
03/04/05
It's
not easy being PM, Pak Lah recently confessed.
Every time he attempts to leave home alone, his bodyguards would stop him. His
last personal adventure (as he calls it) was a harrowing drive-through encounter
more than a year ago. Awww, shucks! Since our beloved PM is ill-prepared for the
wild world, I've compiled a list to bring him to speed should he ever sneak out...
01. Slow
down at green lights. Motorcyclists
run red lights routinely. 02.
Sending SMS while driving and riding is considered safer than talking. 03.
It's easier ordering fast food than switching call plans. 04.
There's a water vending machine
at every corner because most people don't like the
taste of muddy tap water. 05.
Besides Shah Alam, there are plenty of other bald hills to visit. 06.
Tourists go Petaling Street
to buy imitation goods. Locals go to Pasar
Karat for cheap originals. 07.
Spas are not spas as you think. 08.
30,000 menacing motorcyclists roam
and race the streets every Saturday night. 09.
If your car breaks down, just stick a twig of leaves
from your boot. 10.
Tow trucks arrive faster than any emergency
vehicles. 11.
You are not allowed into a taxi unless
you state your destination. 12.
Most people rather have power windows
and broadband that work. Not roti canai- peddling
spacemen. 13.
You can dine on the road anytime, anywhere.
14.
You can shop for the latest movies while
dining. 15.
There are more blind people at eating places
than in LRTs. 16.
Some shopping places charge RM 2 per pee. 17.
Cyber cafes are gaming centers. 18.
A new PC costs less than original software. 19.
Every time you queue patiently in a traffic jam, a VIP motorcade is bound to come
along and potong queue. 20.
The gaming shop is our only truly
multi-racial establishment. We can now interact four times
a week. 21.
It's cheaper flying to Phuket than traveling to KLIA. 22.
Ramli burgers are cheaper and tastier. 23.
Need a plumber when you are broke? There are plumber and loan-shark
business cards in every letter box.
24. Indoor
prawn fishing is out. Futsal is in.
25. EPL is not about football.
26.
Motor shows
are not about cars.
27.
ATM machines take a break from midnight to morning.
28. Number of bus
licenses and number of buses on the road are inversely proportional.
29.
In a shopping mall, watch out for pickpockets and roller
rodents!
30.
Like the wild world so much and plan to rent a room? There is a community bulletin board
on every bus stop, lamp post and phone booth.
Title inspired by Cat
Steven's Wild World
© 2005 TV
SMITH
Link to this article: http://www.tvsmith.net.my/duasen/030405_wild.html
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